Letter To The Others

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29 Responses

  1. danielle says:

    Stop already with the making me cry thing!

  2. mommasylvia says:

    Hey, I wonder why we think along the same line?!

  3. Stacey says:

    Beautiful. What a unique and different way of looking at it. Thank you!

  4. brandyeckman says:

    This was absolutely beautiful. I, too, am a mom to a child with special needs, so I understand what you’ve said here. Love it.

  5. Lisa Richer says:

    A beautiful way of putting into words what so many of us other mom’s are thinking. Thank you Heather.

  6. Christine Archer says:

    Hi Team Aiden, Your words hit home for me. My Jimmy has severe developmental delay. I see the way the other parents look at me as I am carrying my thirty pound toddler around. Even if the do not ask, “what it wrong with him?” you can see the look on their faces. I live in a very small town and we are very active in the community. Many of the people know him and that makes it easier. I have many supporters but it doesn’t make it hurt less when I drop him off at school and all the other children are rounding around screaming and my son has to wait for his Aid to come work with him. Thank you for posting your heart on this blog to share <3

    • Heather says:

      Being active in a small town is so important. Just being visible is a huge benefit to your community. But yes, I understand that feeling of still being on the outside, everything still being that much more difficult. Thanks for sharing.

  7. Jodi says:

    Thank you! I thought I was “sensitive” when people asked what was wrong with my son “Mason”. I don’t see anything wrong with him. I see a beautiful little boy that sees so much more from the world than we ever will. I see a little boy that is trapped inside his body. He knows everything that is going on and is probably even smarter than I give him credit for. His body has not caught up with that amazing mind of his. Thank you for sharing what I have always been thinking.

    • Heather says:

      Yes, exactly, and I do believe it’s up to us as parents to set the example of high hopes and expectations. But I also believe, as exhausting as it may feel, that it’s up to us to help people build a bridge with our children too. THanks for sharing.

  8. loved this piece, heather. leaves me so thankful (once again) for the sacred opportunity i had as a child to walk through life w/ two families in our church who each had a child with special needs. and so as a very young child, i was given a huge gift — a solid understanding of the value that each person on this planet possesses, a comfort in hangin’ out with folks who were different than i was, & the eyes to see that those differences are the very ways that the Lord reveals His glory through them.

    thanks so much for this honest piece,

    • Heather says:

      YES YES YES!!! This is so encouraging to me. This is my hope – that by my son’s presence others will eventually feel more comfortable to engage. Thank you so much for sharing this story.

      • hey again, heather,

        i couldn’t resist stopping by to let you know that this post was the impetus for my latest blog post. i’m super excited that the Lord nudged me to share this piece of who i am, but admittedly feeling a bit insecure (after just having pushed the publish button) b/c i’ve never written anything on special needs before, & i don’t feel qualified — but wait a minute, that’s the whole point that i share in the post! LOL!
        (God is so, so good . . . ) 🙂

  9. Rebecca wild says:

    This is beautiful! I have an amazing 2 year old little girl who does all the things that you just mentioned Aiden doing and it’s really been a struggle for me going out in public with her. I am so very proud of her, but it’s always so comforting to hear that your not alone. Thank you! You have such a healthy, positive Outlook. 🙂

    • Heather says:

      Oh, Rebecca, I’m so glad you stopped by and you most certainly are not alone. Yes, it’s not only a hassle to participate in community but sometimes it’s more than I can emotionally handle but it’s also so important for everyone. Please be encouraged.

  10. Lisa says:

    I really loved this thank you for this post i liked it so much i reposted it.
    I took custody of my great nephew he is a special needs child and he is the best thing in my world. Jayden is 3 years old and i see all the looks we get when iam at the store or at the park with him and pushing him in his wheel chair i would rather someone to ask me what is wrong with him than to just look at us like they are sorry for the way he is.. Im not sorry for Jayden iam sorry for the way They are Jayden is a wonderful little boy and he is here for a reason and that is to put Love into my life and that is what Jayden does he makes me smile and laugh something i didnt do 3 years ago.. Jayden is my world and will always be .. Ill be here for him until i die …thanks again for your post..

  11. Oh. This is good. I think we can unintentionally shut people down by criticizing word choices and not hearing the heart behind clumsy or poorly-thought-out words. I know I have to fight that tendency so much in myself, especially in the things people say about a child dying. *sigh*

    • Heather says:

      Oh my word I can’t even imagine having to keep my mouth shut over that one. But yes, it really is about relationships and hearing each other’s heart and bravely telling your birth story like you did helps with this educational piece.

  12. Kathy K. says:

    First of all this is lovely, thank you for writing it and sharing it.

    I think that whole “what’s wrong with” comment hits all of us moms in a very soft and protective spot. My son is 13 and has CP and for years now my pat response has been, “Nothing is wrong with him, but let me explain what is different about him, after I introduce him to you.” Then depending on if it is an adult or a child we talk about how Tim is different and the same as other people, but not wrong.

  13. fullymothering says:

    I totally get this. I had to include a link in my post and even write my own letter. Thanks so much from a mommy who’s new to this 🙂

  14. Suanna says:

    Thank you! I often say “hi” to those I pass who have special needs, but I’m never sure what else to say. I hope you have a wonderful day.

  15. Louise says:

    Your son is beautiful! I’m glad I found you through Love That Max. I’ve been trying to get The New York Times to stop their routine use of “retarded” to describe people like our kids. Hope you’ll pop by BLOOM.

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