In the Beginning – Part Eight
We had people bringing us meals, taking care of Liam, holding Aidan in the hospital. We were incredibly blessed. One of my book club friends was in the hospital in Boston visiting her mother and she stopped by to see me. Here is an excerpt from her email to the rest of our friends:
I went down to Boston to see Heather. I thought I was all prepared…I found my way down to the NICU and was re-directed to the PICU. I was buzzed in and found myself in a dimly lit room. It was basically one huge room which was completely open with a nurses station in the middle, surrounded by all the cribs and equipment. You just know that all the lives in there are so delicate, so I tip-toed in and saw Heather going over Aidan’s charts.(because I think I play a doctor on TV) I whispered to her and she gave me a quiet “hi.” I shuffled over to her and gave her a big hug and that’s when I looked over her shoulder and saw little Aidan lying there, all covered with tubes of every sort and I just broke out in tears. I wanted to be so strong for her and instead she was the strong one! You know, I knew what to expect but actually seeing him was a whole other thing.
Aidan is just beautiful! If you didn’t know something was wrong, you’d never guess from looking at him. He would yawn and stretch and try to get comfy but then there were all those tubes..alarms would sound on his equipment telling the nurses that he wasn’t taking enough breaths through the aspirator and that his feeding tube was empty. And they were sounding on the babies that surrounded him. It just broke my heart. I just wanted to scoop them up and hold them close and comfort them. I kept thinking – what am I supposed to say? What could I possibly say that could actually be of any worth to what she must be going through? (This is a common question/fear and the truth is, there are no magic or “right” words. Just showing up and lending support in any way speaks volumes). Here I am just going about my every day and it all just seemed so trivial in comparison. I basically flunked in my support role. (Totally not true as is evidenced by the fact that I read this email over and over and am so humbled by her visit). Heather on the other hand is AMAZING! (Totally true) She said she spent the first 4 weeks crying but she’s really got her head together and she still hadn’t heard any news about Aidan’s prognosis yet. Hopefully she’ll hear something this week. I thought you’d all want to know how they’re doing. Please keep them in your prayers.
*This is the story of Aidan’s first few months. It starts here. My present day thoughts are in bold.