Do you beat yourself up for not doing enough, or not doing everything right? I ebb and flow with this struggle. In Aidan’s early years I worked myself into a frenzy to get the most learning in before developmental windows squeaked shut. When I realized I was making myself crazy, I let myself off the hook and tried simply to be mom. Truth be told, I took last year off from parenting as far as school goes. Are most moms of kids with disabilities helicopter moms like me? Anyway, inspired by Max’s mom’s post here, I decided to own being good enough, not perfect.
Perfect: Aidan should wear his back brace all day everyday.
Good Enough: Aidan wears his back brace at school, therapy, and when it’s not too dang hot.
Perfect: Aidan should be required to help out when he can. He is capable of cleaning his tray after meals (hand over hand) and putting toys away.
Good enough: I usually give him a washcloth and instruct him to clean his tray, at which point the cloth ends up on the floor. Occasionally, I’m patient enough to hand over hand help him.
Perfect: I should find choices for Aidan to make so he can use his ipad frequently to communicate.
Good Enough: Aidan’s home health aides are amazing at using his ipad with him and I mostly remember to ask him what he’d like to drink.
Perfect: I should go to the “best” doctors on the east coast and try whatever is out there to stop his seizures.
Good enough: I’ve educated myself about our choice of treatment and am doing my best to see how it goes.
Perfect: I should spend more time actively playing with Aidan.
Good enough: Mostly we snuggle and kiss.
So there it is. I’m not perfect, but I’m good enough. How about you?